I describe a scene from a recent parent and baby group. One mother cast a forlorn look at her baby lying face down on the floor, crying and tiny arms flailing. “But she has to practise,” the mother said, when the lady running the course encouraged her to pick the baby up and comfort her, “That’s what the chiropractor said,” she continued, concern in her eyes whilst she reluctantly pulled the baby onto her lap. We were then told that this very normal looking baby apparently had the serious flaw of pulling her arms behind her when lying on her tummy – a flaw only to be cured by two hour-long sessions of physiotherapy a week, which this baby, understandably, hated.
I cannot claim to be an expert in baby physiology, however, it struck me that I had seen plenty of young babies behave in a very similar way and with time slowly learn how to put their arms in front of them just like all the other babies. The idea that this baby was being pushed and pulled to learn how to do it differently more quickly seemed, well, a bit tough. Perhaps this treatment was absolutely necessary, but I did wonder whether many other medical practitioners would have recommended a less meddlesome approach.
At the same parent and baby group, we are often encouraged to put the babies on their tummies so as to strengthen their backs. We are also shown how to push one foot down whilst they are lying their to provide them with something to push against and move an inch forward – an early taste of crawling, we are told. Whilst browsing on the internet, I have found all sorts of different classes from baby massage to baby gymnastics, baby swimming to baby movement with music, which provide you with numerous opportunities to help your child develop. How tempting, you might say – what talented children we could have …
I then took one of my babies to a post-natal yoga class, at which the yoga teacher was telling us how when she had a small baby she had no time for such interventionist courses and went, instead, to a course which told you to leave your babies completely alone to discover their own physical capabilities even when they rolled themselves into such a position that they might cry with frustration.
Examples of these extremes in approach are not only found in babies physical development, but also in weaning methods and getting them to ‘sleep through’. It would not be fair to say any of these methods are wrong, but given that these extremes exist, each and every one of them endorsed by one medical expert or another, you might conclude that none of them can claim to be exactly right. You also start to suspect that many of these methods are as much, if not more, for the parents’ benefit. That feeling of doing something to aid your child’s development (or make your own life easier in dealing with your baby) is certainly a virtuous one.
I was heartened to meet a father of twins in the park recently, who said he was never going to read a baby advice book again or attend another baby development class. They had tried a ‘sleeping cure’ on one of their babies at enormous effort and to great effect for at least five days. After all of that, the baby then started again to wake up once at night at 4am and continues to, however much they stand singing at the door. Unlike this father, I have not quite abandoned all courses – I enjoy yoga with my babies and singing along in a group to re-learn nursery rhymes – but I might think twice before visiting the baby chiropractor.
stillsonaive 