Having successfully arranged two sleeping babies beside me, I shall begin.

I would not usually describe myself as the possessive type, though friends and family may beg to differ. I would say I usually find it easy to share things and allow other people to use my possessions. When it comes to sharing my babies I feel very differently.

Since the arrival of our two babies we have had a succession of visitors, all intended to help us out. These two have enjoyed plenty of arms to lie in, chests to doze on and willing pushers of their pram. There have been hordes of well-meaning types in our flat suggesting I take myself off for a quiet nap whilst they hold the babies. For all the good intentions, I cannot enjoy seeing them in other people’s arms, let alone sleep well without them near me. I can relax when I see them held by their father, my sister or their maternal grandparents, but any other devotee I find very hard to take. I find myself looking enviously out of the corner of my eye at one of my sleeping babes or saying rather sharply ‘are you sure he is comfortable like that?’ when I can see him slumbering deeply. An overwhelming sense of possession has possessed me. 

You would think this problem easily solved – I could simply limit the holding time of other people and take the baby onto my lap when it all got too much. But not so with twins. I am near constantly busy with one baby and must let someone else, out of necessity, hold the other. You might then think, given I almost always have one of them on my arm, I would feel I had enough contact with my babies and could relax at seeing the other lie sleeping with some adoring type than sitting unhappily alone in a little baby chair. Twin mothers simply have to accept letting someone else dote on their babies from time to time. 

Despite the rationale, I still cannot help my darting looks and cutting remarks. Perhaps I will get used to handing them over – you may need to give me a few months. So I took two babies to bed today and did not sleep at all but felt much happier for it.